Back to School for Parents

Back to school can be an exciting time for parents! After busy summers of mom camps, dad camps, crafts, park play dates, swimming, and adventuring it could be a relief to get back to the school year routine. 

We have some great tips and reminders to help parents ease back into the school year and help develop a great partnership with your child’s teacher. 

Respect boundaries of the classroom. It is important to learn what rules your child’s teacher sets up to help run a smooth class. Each teacher has their own rules routines and procedures, and the ones that applied last year might not be the same this year. This could include how to set up conferences, volunteering, email, pick up and drop off. Some routines and procedures are school wide, some are grade level, and others are individual teacher’s.  While we are sure that most teachers (unless it is not allowed at their school) welcome parents to volunteer to be part of the classroom community, it’s important to follow protocol. It can be disruptive to the lessons and work being done in the classroom to have parents dropping in every morning or during unplanned times throughout the day without having prior knowledge of it. 

We would like to pay special attention to the fact that it is so incredibly important for the development of your child to have their own space and place. Children as young as kindergarten can and should walk into their classrooms independently while carrying their own supplies. The sense of responsibility that they gain from this small act alone is HUGE. If you are itching to get into the classroom, find out the appropriate volunteer times and sign up or email the teacher to ask when the best time to stop by and look at the projects or bulletin boards would be.

Find out the best way to communicate with your child’s teacher and follow that. Many times teachers are juggling many things at once and if a parent has “one quick thing” to tell you right as you are greeting your students, teaching a lesson, or supervising children at dismissal, it can be very overwhelming. Teachers always want to give parents their full attention and when kids are present, they are our top priority. It is always best to find out the best way to communicate and follow that protocol. Typically it is sending an email, or setting up a meeting if you have something you want to discuss. Finally, remember that teachers are usually teaching or preparing to teach all day, they often do not have the luxury of time to respond to emails immediately, so try to give them at least 24 hours to respond to you.

Hold your child accountable for remembering homework, sweatshirts, lunches, and projects. Do your best to not jump in and save them everytime they forget something. Children will learn more from the natural consequences of forgetting something, than they will if you bring what they have forgotten to them. It will give you some relief too, to know that you aren’t responsible for midday drop offs to your child. Of course if it is an emergency, it is completely understandable, but it should be the exception, not the rule. The learning experience of forgetting something and not having it, holds a lot more value. 

Let your child experience discomfort when they make a mistake at school. If your child does something that is out of character, try your best not to make excuses for them. Hold them responsible for the mistake and move on. Making an excuse for your child will not help them learn, it will help justify their actions. Every child makes mistakes. It is a healthy part of development. We always tell parents that school is not just a place to learn math, reading, and writing. School is where children learn how to be members of society. If your child never learns about consequences and accountability, it could create bigger problems later. The most important part about making mistakes is how it is dealt with after the fact. 

We hope that the transition from summer into a new school year is a smooth one for both you and your child. However if it isn’t, remember that children need to experience discomfort in order to learn how to deal with things that will come up in their life. Talking to your child’s teacher to come up with a plan for your child will help everyone be on the same page and help your child transition into a new school year. 

Teacher Appreciation Week

This week is Teacher Appreciation week! Appreciation of the hard work that teachers do every day is near and dear to our hearts. Teachers are doing very important work in society, and often can feel undervalued and overwhelmed. While it would be ideal to appreciate teachers all year long, it is nice to have a reminder and an entire week dedicated to appreciating teachers.

Ultimately the best way that society can appreciate teachers is with:

1) Support for students

2) Respectable compensation

2) Smaller class sizes

3) Resources and supplies for classes

4) Societal respect

These are our hopes and dreams for the teaching profession! We understand that these might be a bit difficult to accomplish this week, but a teacher can dream! We hope that one day teachers all over the country have these things.

But seriously, we thought we would offer some realistic ways to appreciate the teacher in your life this week.

1) A handwritten card from students

2) Small treats to keep in the desk

3) Coffee or tea

4) Flowers for their desks

5) Verbal affirmation or a positive email

6) A positive email to their supervisor

7) A bottle of wine

These are all little things that go a long way in making a teacher feel appreciated and supported. While we keep fighting for the top four, it is good to feel like we have people supporting and appreciating the work we do!
We also found this great resource with everything you need to appreciate your teachers or even plan events to appreciate teachers at your school!

Parent Involvement

Unlike any other time in history, parents have access to so much information on parenting and children. They want to make sure that they are doing a good job as parents and that their children are thriving. To do so, many parents are incredibly involved in every aspect of their child’s life. Some researchers call this style of parenting “intensive parenting,” and it is a common form of parenting among upper-middle-class households. According to an article in The Atlantic, intensive parenting includes “Supervised, enriching playtime. Frequent conversations about thoughts and feelings. Patient, well-reasoned explanations of household rules. And extracurriculars. Lots and lots of extracurriculars.”

There does seem to be some positives in this style of parenting, and we understand why many aspire to achieve this level of involvement in parenting. However, as we have written in previous posts before, our jobs as parents and teachers is to raise and educate children who will grow up to be strong, resilient, balanced, well adjusted adults. As you can probably imagine, living a life where your parents constantly step in to solve all troubles, problems, or issues as a child causes some trouble as children grow into adulthood.

This level of parental involvement has begun to reach the business sector as young adults begin their careers. In the New York Times Article When Helicopter Parents Hover, Even at Work, “Within that group of employers, more than 30 percent reported parents submitting a résumé for their children; 15 percent reported fielding complaints from a parent when the company didn’t hire their child; and nearly 10 percent said parents had insinuate themselves into salary and benefit negotiations.” These parents are submitting resumes for, sitting in on interviews, and calling employers on behalf of their adult child to negotiate salaries and promotions. It sounds absurd, but it is happening today.Adults have to be responsible for a variety of things and life is full of surprises, conflicts, and obstacles that they have to navigate and work with. Unless children learn how to deal with and work through the bumps in the road then they will not know how to do this as adults. Thus they will have to rely on parents to continue to solve issues for them.

During childhood, intensive parenting includes constant communication with teachers, yearning to know every little thing that happens in class, supervising all recreational activities, scheduling and attending all extra curricular activities, and wanting to control every social situation that their child encounters. Again, we wholeheartedly understand why this appeals to parents. Parents are charged with caring for and raising someone who is quite literally the sun and the moon to them. We get it. They want to make sure that their child is doing fine, is happy, and thriving across all situations. But if an adult is always present in the life of a child doing everything for them, solving all their conflicts, and speaking on their behalf, then how will the child learn conflict resolution, coping mechanisms, responsibility, and independence that they will need as adults? Children will grow up, and it is up to us to teach them the tools to use when they reach adulthood. If we, as parents and teachers don’t do this, then we have failed them.

Here are a few things we can do as parents and teachers to help our children develop the tools they will need as adults.

1) Let children attempt to solve their social conflicts

Social dynamics are hard for everyone. Children will struggle with friendships and collaboration. That is normal. Before you step in and take charge of a situation, allow your child to try to talk it out with their peers. Children are very good about speaking about their feelings with others, listening to each other, and mediating conflicts. They might need a mediator, so you can let the teacher, coach, or counselor know in case they are needed. Letting children talk, and figure out social dynamics with their friends on their own might be uncomfortable for them, but it’ll help them gain the experience to be able to navigate social dynamics as they grow into adulthood. Not all relationships are perfect, and they need to learn how to navigate them.

2) Give children free unplanned time

21st century children are constantly being stimulated by technology, intensive reading programs, flash cards, and many extracurricular classes. This is so much so, that many children often struggle with being bored. They do not know what to do when they have nothing to do. Sometimes it is good to not have a schedule, plan, or device readily available. Giving children some time to do whatever they want will help develop their creativity and bring balance in their life. We highly recommend it!

3) Teach children to talk to the teacher themselves

Children as young as 5 can, and should, speak up for themselves. If there is an issue in the classroom, let your child talk to the teacher. If they have a question about an assignment, don’t understand a concept, would like to discuss their grade, or would like to share a thought or opinion, encourage them to speak to their teacher.  If they are on the younger side, we recommend an email before hand or as a follow up to make sure that they did indeed speak to the teacher and what the conversation yielded. However, having children stand up for themselves allows them to learn how to speak to authority figures. So that when they grow up, they are able able to speak, negotiate, and stand up for themselves in the workforce.

Of course we are firm believers in balance. Although children need to learn the tools to collaborate, resolve conflicts, speak up for themselves, and be independent by trying, and possibly failing, with using different techniques, they will still need parent and teacher support to guide them. We also understand that children need support from the caregivers in their lives. Parents can always communicate to teachers and let them know that they want to partner with them to help support their child in learning independence and responsibility. Teachers are always willing to partner in this endeavor, as it is their goal too.

Resources:

Social Class, Gender, and Contemporary Parenting

Being left out hurts: Moms, stop ‘social engineering’

‘Intensive’ Parenting Is Now the Norm in America

http://ceri.msu.edu/publications/pdf/ceri2-07.pdf

Mentor Teachers

We all began our journeys in education as assistant teachers. It was a great way to get our feet wet, experience a real classroom, and understand what teaching was really like. Our experience in this position was absolutely wonderful. Not just because it gave us the passion for teaching, but because we were learning from master teachers for a few years before we became lead teachers. When the time came for us to take charge of our own class, we were more prepared for the challenges of teaching because of our mentors. We were lucky enough to be surrounded by teachers who had decades of experience and still had the passion and spark for teaching. They showed us that they also respected us as educators and believed that we too had something to offer.

Always remember that it is okay to ask for help, to not have all the answers, and to seek advice from others. You don’t get an award or a bonus at the end of each year that states you “did it all alone.” Just as we encourage our students to learn and grow from each other, it is just as beneficial to learn and grow from your mentors and colleagues. It is essential as a teacher to seek knowledge and growth. To do it often and without hesitation will benefit you as a teacher and person and will also benefit all the students you teach.

Quite often it is easy to disregard older or more experienced teachers, as outdated and old fashioned. While we are sure that there are some teachers that are, for the most part, experienced teachers have a wealth of knowledge and experience that a novice teacher can benefit from. These are the people that have already walked the path that you are in. Chances are they have dealt with that student behavior, given that assessment, or had that challenging parent. They have experienced many administrators and can advice you on how to deal with a challenging one. They know what to expect and they can give you advice on how to deal with challenges that arise. Our mentors never disregarded us as inexperienced and naive and that made it all the more comfortable to go to them when we needed advice or wanted to bounce an idea off of them.

Teachers with a lot of experience also have great project ideas that they have done in their classes over the years. We still use some of the projects that our mentors created and left to us to use in our own classrooms. Some have been updated for 21st century skills, and they are still engaging and relevant. Both parents and students love them. Experienced teachers also have classroom management systems that they have been developing and perfecting for years. Use these! One of the best things is having systems in your classroom that really work. Why spend time creating everything from scratch, when you know great people that have great systems? Of course you will think of great things too along your teaching journey that you can pass along to others.

At this point in our career, we are now considered experienced teachers. Something that we still cannot believe! However, we absolutely love helping and mentoring new teachers. We try to make ourselves available to new teachers, support them, advise them, and sometimes even console them.

Teaching is a wonderful and challenging career, and having someone who has walked in your shoes is so incredibly helpful. We will never forget all the teachers who mentored us, even today in our classes, we feel their energy and continue to share their ideas with our students. Find great mentors and never let go!

Balanced Children

We all want what is best for our children. We want what will serve them well presently and in the future. This way of thinking and the countless other pressures within the child rearing community lead us to think about the importance of getting children involved in after school activities, get tutoring on the weekends to get ahead, and have every moment of the day scheduled.

Now, more than ever, “home life” is dwindling. As adults, there is an urgency to spend nights and weekends “getting ready” for something: after a party is finished, there is another one to start thinking about; when a project has finally passed and all the preparations have paid off, there is the next project for another client; once the lasagna has been prepped for the week, it is time to start thinking about next week’s meal prep. All this has created a culture that spends a lot of time thinking ahead, but not enough time living in the moment. It has created a schedule that puts an individual more on the go, and less inside the home.

Unfortunately, this ideology is popping up sooner in life. How many times are three-year-olds signed up for soccer, ballet, or early coding “to help find their passion?” HINT: A child should be signed up for these activities because they can’t stop kicking any movable object at home, is twirling and moving to every kind of music, or are at least five years of age to truly start any valuable computer interactions. Children should dictate any extracurricular activity because passions are found through self-discovery.

Extracurricular

Every year during parent conferences, parents convey the pressure they feel to sign their kids up for extra classes after school and on the weekends because they hear other parents doing it. Unfortunately, an afterthought when planning extracurricular activities is the transition from one to another. Students come to school exhausted and unprepared to face the rigors of academia because they have spent 2.5 hours in traffic to get to their after-school activities the day before. Downtime is only actually relaxing when it occurs in a comfortable space. Parents of sleep-training children might remember that a nap in the car seat in between errands is not the same as a nap in the crib.  Resting in the car in between activities is not and should not count as “down time” for school-aged children.

Our advice is always the same: if your child does not actually need extra support, let them spend their extra time on something that makes them happy. Or better yet: let them figure out what to do with their own time. Some parents feel the pressure to be ahead in certain academic subjects, but what’s the rush? Kids are growing up way too fast and need more balance.

It might seem logical to think that your child will get an upper hand by being enrolled in any of the many tutoring programs that promise precious 1:1 time with your little one. However, in a culture that values the ability to effectively collaborate as a strong suit, your child will probably benefit more from spending his free time reading or playing by himself and bringing his discoveries to playdates with his peers. When children are genuinely interested in something, they have elaborate discussions about the topic with their peers, even more so compared to structured discussions in class. They recall events from books they have read or listened to or movies they watched, and dissect them with their friends. They might identify and enumerate all the spells from Harry Potter, discover patterns in the Percy Jackson series, or debate over which superhero has the best super powers. How many times have we seen children play house, where the parent takes care of the babies and the babies act extremely needy, wanting the constant attention of their mommy?

A child’s unstructured time entertains the possibilities of organically thinking through depth and complexity. Children who are given ample opportunities to “kick the can” make these valuable discoveries on their own. They might label and identify their thinking with icons in class, but we need to remember that these are prompts that naturally occur in the way children spend their free time–whether they are working on their own or interacting with their friends and family. It is important for children to receive information, whether it is from school, a walk around the museum, or a family trip to Yosemite. However, it is equally important for them to have time to digest all the information and interpret it internally or with their peers. This is when their curiosity peers through and new discoveries are made.

Home

Home is a safe space for children where they can rest, eat, play, and rejuvenate. Enjoy this time at home where you’re not rushing off to the next activity. Our children need this time to remain balanced. Find days when you don’t ever leave the house, stay in your pajamas all day, or have a movie marathon. Time when everyone is just reading for fun, or engaged in a board game with the whole family. This time is important for family units to connect in a fun, relaxed way.

It is equally important to have unstructured time at home and is a necessity for developing healthy kids. It fosters independence and responsibility. They need this time to be creative, to play, to go outside and explore. This is when they discover their passions. We have to give our kids the opportunity to just be children. We have to teach them balance by modeling balance. You can model hobbies by also spending time doing things you are passionate about. Now is the time to bake, woodwork, sew, or pursue something that will allow you to model for your child happiness and balance at home. Don’t be afraid to let your children be bored. They are smart, and they will realize the value of unstructured time.

School

Keeping a balance at school is just as important. School needs to be a place where kids develop a love for learning. It should be a joyous place where they can feel connected and part of a community. Yes, it is important to get through the curriculum so students are learning the academics and social emotional learning necessary for development. It is also extremely important for students to have unstructured time at school, time for choice, time for play, time for brain breaks, and time for passion projects. These things keep kids motivated and will create space for discovery, inspire creativity, and connection among peers.

We have to be aware that kids are at school 7 or 8 hours a day. Some even longer if they have working parents who drop them off early or need to send them to after school care. We need to be aware of how our students are feeling day to day and we need to create the balance they need to be successful and productive.

Students are doing school work all day long. It is important to keep homework to a minimum. If you do assign homework, make sure it is relevant and not just busy work. According to the National PTA “homework has the potential to negatively impact family and child interactions, and high quantities of homework not only add to stress, but do not necessarily lead to higher achievement outcomes.” They recommend only 10-20 minutes per night in the first grade and add 10 minutes of homework in each grade after.

Today more than ever, kids are growing up way too fast. We are raising kids who are stressed and depressed. It is our job as parents and teachers to help them create more balance and give them the space to be kids. We might only see our children or students for part of the day, but we need to make sure we are accounting for the entire day. Let’s all slow down, live in the moment, and stop rushing our kids through their childhood.

Children Need Balanced Teachers

Expectations

Teaching has always been a multi disciplinary job. Because teachers are working with young people, teachers throughout history have not only taught lessons on content, but they have been psychologists, nurses, advertisers, friends, and so much more. The teaching profession has always been a stressful career. However, today more than ever, the expectations placed on teachers are astronomical.

In addition to what teachers have traditionally done, in recent years teachers have had a multitude of new responsibilities added to their already metaphorically overflowing cups.

With the advent of technology, parents all over the world are granted constant communication about their child. This generation of children have grown up since birth with apps that communicate with parents. When children go off to school, many parents expect and want constant communication from their child’s teacher. So, teachers have to take a plethora of photos, run class social media accounts for their class, update a classroom website, write weekly blogs about what they are doing in the classroom, manage individual student blogs, monitor student email accounts, use several applications to send data home to parents, along with teaching, grading papers, reporting for recess or lunch duty, assessing and collecting data, writing report cards, emailing parents, differentiating lessons, planning field trips, making copies, and so much more. We absolutely love the new and wonderful ways to share and communicate with parents their child’s growth, however it seems that many new things have been added to the teacher’s plate, and nothing has been taken away.

With so much to do, in so little time, teachers oftentimes feel like they cannot take a breath. It is an overwhelming and depleting feeling. We feel that we are failing the most important people, our students. Teaching is not just about tests, data, photos, and grades. The most important aspect of teaching is the connections and relationships that we build with our students. As elementary school teachers we know that students will not remember the grammar or spelling lessons we teach, but they will remember the way we make them feel. If teachers are overworked and stressed, then their students feel that too.

Prioritizing

When teachers feel the need to do it all, they get burnt out. According to the National Education Association, more than 40% of teachers leave the profession within 5 years! If you want to remain a teacher for the long haul, take care of yourself and keep a work life balance. It is okay to say no, especially when your cup is already overflowing.

For teachers to have a balanced life and a balanced classroom, they must prioritize. Because there is such a high expectation placed on teachers, you have to learn that you will not be able to do everything. Pick the most important things for “right now” and leave the rest for later. You have to get comfortable always having a to-do list. As a teacher you will never have that moment of being “done.” Education practices are always changing and by nature, we are lifelong learners. Our schools and classrooms change every year. So even at the end of the school year, teachers are planning for their next group of students. Honestly, there will be things that you won’t EVER get to. And you know what? That’s okay. Most likely it won’t change a thing in your class and no one will know except for you. So be kind to yourself and make sure you maintain a balance for yourself.

Flexibility

Flexibility is one of the most important tools in the classroom. If we are not flexible, then the kids will not be flexible. Real life in the classroom is not how it is portrayed in the media. A real classroom is messy, loud, and not perfect. We plan lessons and projects, but things do not always go as planned. When the smart board doesn’t work, the internet is down, the copies you made were the key, and not the actual student worksheet (It happens!) students look to us and see how we react. Teachers need to remember that there is a solution to every problem, no matter how great. The solution might not present itself in the moment, but that is when we say “Oh well,” and do something else in the class. When teachers are stressed, students are stressed too. Being flexible and more importantly modeling flexibility to our students is important.

We remember the feeling of wanting to please everyone when we were new teachers. When you are in charge of educating young minds there are a lot of people with high expectations of you. In our first years of teaching we wanted our classrooms to be Pinterest perfect all the time and we wanted to be liked by everyone. With experience, we learned that neither of these were attainable all the time. Our classrooms will not be perfect all the time, you will not agree with everything that administration says or does, parents might not like you. Guess what? It is okay! As long as you are showing up for your kids every school day and giving each of those students not only the academic content they need, but you are seeing them for who they are and loving them for it, then you are doing an amazing job. Teaching is one of the hardest professions there is, and we are all doing the best we can for our children.

Why do Children Need Balanced Teachers?

When teachers aren’t balanced, their students aren’t getting what they deserve. Lessons are thrown together, the grading piles up and everything gets rushed because the teacher is just trying to survive each day. When you feel like you don’t have enough time, it is time to practice the things above: prioritizing and flexibility. Children need balanced teachers because they need people that are showing up everyday that want to be there. Overworked, unbalanced teachers end up resenting their job. They are tired, irritable, and impatient. Teachers that are balanced want to show up and be present for their students.

It’s important that teachers get the time they need to plan meaningful lessons for the students. It’s important that this time not be taken up by extra meetings, conferences, and a quick PD to teach this brand new program that administration decides needs to be implemented mid-year. Time to plan meaningful lessons should be a sacred time for teachers. When this time is mis-managed by administration, we are letting down our students. They are the ones that suffer.

Balanced teachers have the time and energy to run a functioning, healthy class. They have the energy to support that struggling student. They have the time to connect with that student who often falls under the radar. They have the spirit to tell jokes, have brain breaks, connect as a class community and make their class a joyous place to learn and grow.



Parents & Teacher Partnership

Sooner or later something will come up where a child faces a challenge. It is a healthy part of growth and development. A child underperforms in class, is bossy around his friends, cannot stay focused during structured periods, or is unable to complete her task as she navigates through “perfectionism” presenting itself as a hindrance to her success.

TEACHER: Oh, no!  I need to contact one of my parents.

PARENT: Oh, no! I have a message from my child’s teacher.

Surprise, surprise!  People who care about their children WILL have similar reactions to the situations presented above, whether the relationship is biological or honed in the classroom.  This could be the reason why teachers lovingly refer to their students as “my kids.” This is not being said to appeal to any kind of emotion from the parents’ side. It is exactly what it is.  For that school year, the students in our classes are our kids.

As we kick off this new blog, and this new year, we wanted to talk about something that is near and dear to our hearts. The Parent-Teacher Partnership. This partnership is integral for parent, teacher and student success. We want to offer some points to consider for both teachers and parents. Ultimately, we are in this together and at times, we feel that very important fact is forgotten.

Teachers become teachers because they love children, and they want to see them grow and learn. They design lessons, projects, activities, and field trips that will help their students learn and develop a love for learning. Look up #teachersofinstagram on your Instagram, and your screen will showcase teachers from all over the world demonstrating a deep love for their students and their passion to make their classrooms conducive to learning. Teachers truly want what is BEST for each child in their classrooms.

As a teacher, one thinks about the overall well-being of each student: there are the encouraging remarks while students go through challenging assignments, the creation of flexible curriculum that goes with the whole group flow but also addresses individual needs, and the endless questioning of the effectiveness of the application of tested and current pedagogy to the development of the students in the class.  But it doesn’t stop there. There are also gentle nudges to finish their snack and stay hydrated while having an internal battle over keeping the students inside the air conditioned classroom during a California heat wave (in the middle of January), but also remembering that the class has been cooped up in the classroom the last three days due to the elusive California storms.

Parents are invested in their child’s best interest starting in utero.  Soon to be parents will change diets, move to a better school district, listen to classical music, attend birthing classes, and the list goes on even before their child is born!  They read all the books, make their own baby foods, and do everything in their power to make their children’s lives the best it can be. When it comes time for school, parents research options, tour schools, weigh out public vs. private schools, attend admissions or welcoming events, and then make the best decision they see fit for their child. Parents around the world want what is BEST for their children.

There are many factors that need to be considered to build a positive partnership. The most important thing is to focus on what is BEST for the child and to always be child-centered. The best part of this idea is that both parties want the best for the child already. If both parties want what is best for the child, we would suppose that the parent-teacher relationship would always be a strong partnership. After all, they are both on the same side and have the same interest. However, like any relationship sometimes the parent-teacher relationship is not productive. Today we want to adress how parents and teachers form strong, balanced, child centered relationships.

1. Put the child first

Focus on what is going to help the child succeed long term. Not just a quick fix to make the child “happy.”  Happiness is not something that can be created for them (All Joy and No Fun, J. Senior.) A child might need extra support, an evaluation, or help from an outside expert. Putting the child first means that we remove our egos and ideas of perfectionism, and get the child the help and support they need for the long term.

2. Keep the line of communication open

Reach out in a positive productive way. Don’t wait for challenges to escalate. Better to reach out early and often if you see a pattern. We recommend never emailing when you are angry. If something very serious has come up, best to set up an in person meeting. This will also give time and space to think about a productive way to approach the situation. Teachers should also pick up the phone and have a conversation with parents. It’s often better to have a conversation about difficult topics than it is to read it over an email.

3. Mutual respect

Approach challenges from the lense of being a productive problem solver and wanting to understand a situation rather than accusing and blaming. Assume the teacher or parent has good intentions. We love the saying, “I’ll believe 50% of what your child says about you, if you believe 50% of what your child says about me.” Remember the source, children are extremely clever. As much as we love our children and students, they know how to play the game. OR depending on their age, they might not always remember things correctly or be able to accurately assess all the facts.

4. Take responsibility when you make a mistake

Parenting and teaching are both incredibly hard jobs. It’s okay to make mistakes. Mistakes make us human and help us grow. Let’s model for our children so they can learn how to overcome, learn, and forgive mistakes. Remember that little ears are always listening. Even if you don’t agree with a teacher or a parent, try to stay positive in front of the children.

5. Collaborate

Oftentimes, teaching is not a one-person job.  It really “takes a village” to raise balanced children. If something is working at home with your child let the teacher know, so that they can implement the vocabulary or strategy in the class. Teachers should also let parents know what they are working on in the classroom, so that parents can use the same or similar strategies at home. Consistency and collaboration are the keys.

6. Be a united front

The best thing for a child is knowing that their teacher and their parents talk and that they are on the same team. We love the moment when a child realizes you know about their home life. They ask, “How do you know that?” And we respond “Yes, I talk with your parents!”

7. Humor

At the end of the day, raising these little people is the most wonderful and funnest part of our lives, both as parents and as teachers. Enjoy the silly giggles, jokes, funny drawings, messes, and playtimes with the children because they grow up really quickly, and what seems so incredibly important today, is not what you are going to remember. It’s going to be the laughs you had with your child and the village that helped you raise them.

Throughout our careers, we have all had parent-teacher relationships that have been productive and positive, and others that, put quite simply, have not. There is no perfect equation that will work for every situation but we have found that in general, these tips will help make for a more positive partnership.

We would love to hear your thoughts! What are some things that have worked for you?