Don’t Bully Teachers

We as teachers talk to our students about kindness and respect all the time. We plan lessons, read books, and role play with our students about friendships and what to do if they encounter bullies. We have conversations with students who are struggling with being picked on or bullied, and we have conversations with students who are being bullies. We are surrounded by talks of socio-emotional growth, conflict resolutions, and standing up for oneself, and yet many teachers are bullied on a daily basis without the ability to do anything about it.

We have known many teachers and have experienced being bullied by the parents of students. As we wrote last week, “Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school-aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.” (Stop Bullying). When we say teachers are being bullied, we are not talking about a one-time incident where a parent becomes upset and sends an unkind email or phone call. Although neither of these are the nicest things to send to a teacher, what we are writing about are parents who find fault with everything that the teacher is doing, send email after email of criticism, make call after call complaining, or say unkind thing after unkind thing. That is bullying a teacher, and that is, simply put, not ok.

The emails where our assignments or projects are criticized, our techniques, classroom management, or lessons are scrutinized, parent conferences where our expert advice is not only question and challenged, but demeaned, and the gossip and negative talk about teachers all have a detrimental effect on mental health. And unfortunately, there is not much we can do about it. Unlike another profession where a doctor can refuse to see a patient, an architect can refuse the project, or a chef can comp a meal and move on, teachers have a whole school year where they have to remain professional while being bullied. 

We hear a lot about what bullying does to children and adolescents, but we don’t hear much about what it does to teachers. It causes anxiety, loss of sleep, high levels of stress, affects mental health, it really hurts and brings teachers down. And yet educators persevere, talk and cry it out with teacher friends, and then do the same thing with their family at home. They show up for their students every day in the classroom and continue to plan lessons, activities, and projects. They put on a happy face, teach and love their kids because that is what teachers do. 

If you are a teacher who is being bullied this year please know that it is not your fault. You are trying your best and working your hardest. We know it is difficult, but try your best to leave school matters at school. Take a walk, workout, or do an activity that brings you happiness after school. Don’t check your email at home, you don’t want to feel sad or upset at home when you are in your safe space with your family. You do not deserve to be bullied because you are doing challenging and important work in our society. Your students love you and they appreciate all that you do.

If you are a parent and you have an issue, question, or are upset about something, please address teachers with respect. Take a breath before you write a scathing email. Ask for a meeting after a few days when you are calm. Approach the situation by thinking about what you tell your children to do when presented with a conflict. Remember, your children are watching you and your actions. If you are telling your children to be kind and respectful towards others, then you should likewise be kind and respectful towards their teacher. Children learn from your example, don’t be a bully.

Teachers are professionals in education. They deserve respect. They are also people with real feelings. Bullying teachers is not acceptable. 

Teacher Guilt

Teacher guilt is real. It is something that we and many of our colleagues have felt at one point or another in our careers. Many teachers find it challenging to balance a personal life and still be able to fulfill all the tasks required for teaching. In many cases it is the mental well being of our teachers that ends up suffering. Which isn’t healthy for the teachers or the students. 

People who become educators are always seen and praised for their selflessness. It is as if teachers have to give up so much to be a teacher, and society praises them for it. Perhaps it is because historically, the majority of teachers have been women, and in western society women and mothers often have to sacrifice for their families, that teachers now have this stigma of sacrifice. 

How many times have teachers had to take a day because we were sick, or had a family obligation, or something came up but they felt bad for leaving the students? We can tell you that it happens often. Many teachers feel guilty for taking care of themselves, taking a break during the work day, taking a day, or even switching schools or careers. This teacher guilt is real, and we want to shift this mindset. We want to help change the narrative around teaching. 

The fact is that education is a profession. We go to school for many years to be teachers, and we should not be sacrificed for the sake of the children. It starts with teachers setting boundaries and saying they will not sacrifice themselves for their job. Teachers should be compensated fairly, given the resources they need for their classrooms, and given time during the day to complete the tasks required. If teachers continue to put in extra hours for free, spend their own money on their classrooms, and forego their personal lives, society will continue to control the narrative. It’s time we make a major change.

To our fellow teachers, just know that the children will be ok if you take a day or a few days off to take care of yourself. Your students benefit from your well being. And if you are unable to balance your life in your job, your school will be ok if you decide to leave the school or the profession. Like architects, engineers, and doctors, they will find someone to replace you. If your school isn’t able to give you what you need to be successful, it’s time to look for something that will benefit you and the life you want. Teachers are not volunteers. Teachers should not be putting their health and well-being at risk for the sake of a job.

Teachers need to stop feeling guilty. And society needs to stop praising teachers for their sacrifice, and instead praise them for their excellence in professionalism, and compensate them fairly.

Teacher Appreciation Week

This week is Teacher Appreciation week! Appreciation of the hard work that teachers do every day is near and dear to our hearts. Teachers are doing very important work in society, and often can feel undervalued and overwhelmed. While it would be ideal to appreciate teachers all year long, it is nice to have a reminder and an entire week dedicated to appreciating teachers.

Ultimately the best way that society can appreciate teachers is with:

1) Support for students

2) Respectable compensation

2) Smaller class sizes

3) Resources and supplies for classes

4) Societal respect

These are our hopes and dreams for the teaching profession! We understand that these might be a bit difficult to accomplish this week, but a teacher can dream! We hope that one day teachers all over the country have these things.

But seriously, we thought we would offer some realistic ways to appreciate the teacher in your life this week.

1) A handwritten card from students

2) Small treats to keep in the desk

3) Coffee or tea

4) Flowers for their desks

5) Verbal affirmation or a positive email

6) A positive email to their supervisor

7) A bottle of wine

These are all little things that go a long way in making a teacher feel appreciated and supported. While we keep fighting for the top four, it is good to feel like we have people supporting and appreciating the work we do!
We also found this great resource with everything you need to appreciate your teachers or even plan events to appreciate teachers at your school!

Mentor Teachers

We all began our journeys in education as assistant teachers. It was a great way to get our feet wet, experience a real classroom, and understand what teaching was really like. Our experience in this position was absolutely wonderful. Not just because it gave us the passion for teaching, but because we were learning from master teachers for a few years before we became lead teachers. When the time came for us to take charge of our own class, we were more prepared for the challenges of teaching because of our mentors. We were lucky enough to be surrounded by teachers who had decades of experience and still had the passion and spark for teaching. They showed us that they also respected us as educators and believed that we too had something to offer.

Always remember that it is okay to ask for help, to not have all the answers, and to seek advice from others. You don’t get an award or a bonus at the end of each year that states you “did it all alone.” Just as we encourage our students to learn and grow from each other, it is just as beneficial to learn and grow from your mentors and colleagues. It is essential as a teacher to seek knowledge and growth. To do it often and without hesitation will benefit you as a teacher and person and will also benefit all the students you teach.

Quite often it is easy to disregard older or more experienced teachers, as outdated and old fashioned. While we are sure that there are some teachers that are, for the most part, experienced teachers have a wealth of knowledge and experience that a novice teacher can benefit from. These are the people that have already walked the path that you are in. Chances are they have dealt with that student behavior, given that assessment, or had that challenging parent. They have experienced many administrators and can advice you on how to deal with a challenging one. They know what to expect and they can give you advice on how to deal with challenges that arise. Our mentors never disregarded us as inexperienced and naive and that made it all the more comfortable to go to them when we needed advice or wanted to bounce an idea off of them.

Teachers with a lot of experience also have great project ideas that they have done in their classes over the years. We still use some of the projects that our mentors created and left to us to use in our own classrooms. Some have been updated for 21st century skills, and they are still engaging and relevant. Both parents and students love them. Experienced teachers also have classroom management systems that they have been developing and perfecting for years. Use these! One of the best things is having systems in your classroom that really work. Why spend time creating everything from scratch, when you know great people that have great systems? Of course you will think of great things too along your teaching journey that you can pass along to others.

At this point in our career, we are now considered experienced teachers. Something that we still cannot believe! However, we absolutely love helping and mentoring new teachers. We try to make ourselves available to new teachers, support them, advise them, and sometimes even console them.

Teaching is a wonderful and challenging career, and having someone who has walked in your shoes is so incredibly helpful. We will never forget all the teachers who mentored us, even today in our classes, we feel their energy and continue to share their ideas with our students. Find great mentors and never let go!

Find Your Teacher Tribe

No one will understand the daily life like another teacher. There is an instant bond, a connection, that is felt when teachers meet. You see the gleam in each other’s eye. It is part love of school and part absolute exhaustion. You understand that as a teacher you are teaching 20-40  students in your class, you are expected to differentiate, create project based learning, collect data, grade, manage the class, document, communicate with 40-80 parents, and a plethora of other things. No one really gets the excitement and happiness of teaching nor do they understand the exhaustion and frustrations in teaching. That is why having a teacher tribe is the most amazing thing you can cultivate at your school.

We all met each other when we were assistant teachers. We became friends and supported each other through graduate school and credential programs, and we were lucky enough to become lead teachers at the same school around the same time. To say that we love and are there for each other would be an understatement. We have not only supported each other professionally, but we have been through major life events such as moving, buying houses, engagements, dating, marriages, births, and deaths.

When you spend your days with children, like we do, it is essential that you find the time to connect with other adults throughout the day. No matter how busy we were in the classroom, we always made time for lunch in the teacher’s lounge. For teachers, lunch isn’t just a time to eat. This is our time to connect, laugh, vent, complain and share. It can also be a time to escape from work to talk about everything BUT work. Your tribe can be a good group to unload, unplug and recharge. Being able to have lunch with your tribe everyday makes the tough stuff so much better.

When you have a teacher tribe, you can pop into their classes, share ideas, ask them to proofread emails, ask for advice about a kid, and support each other. You can send your students as messengers into their classrooms and they will do the same. They will watch your class when you need to run to the bathroom or make a quick copy. You can share ideas without judgement or competition. You are excited for their success and they support you in yours.

You see, we can laugh and commiserate with other teachers because we understand each other. We have all had the lawnmower parent, the new trendy educational tool pushed our way, the child who will not listen, and the administrator who is not supportive. We have felt the frustrations, anxiety, and sleepless nights associated with teaching. We get each other like no one else can.

Your teacher tribe is an important part of your arsenal of support. They become your friends and your family away from home. We spend so much of our waking time away from home, caring and educating other people’s children. Having another or a group of teachers be a part of your tribe can help make rough days sweeter. There are days when you may have (or will) question your career choice, as everyone does. Knowing that you have support at work who has had those days and will listen to your rants and raves can help lighten the load of the day. But beware! A good tribe will help you focus on the positive aspects of your day. Try not to fall into a blackhole of misery and self criticism. The foundation of your tribe should center on the positive aspects of education and learning. It is very easy to get carried away by our emotions. But our job, and our tribe’s job is to support each other and help each other refocus on why we went into the education field in the first place.

We are all at different schools now, but that didn’t break up our tribe. We make time to skype, message, meet up, and remain an active part of each others lives. Find your teacher tribe, and never let go. They are the ones who will keep you sane and happy when the teaching gets tough.

What do you like to do with your teacher tribe?


Who We Are

Hello! We are Stephanie and Jennifer and we dream of helping parents and teachers raise children in the 21st century

We are teachers who dream of making a difference. We are educators who dream of children reaching their fullest potential. We are leaders in the field of education who dream of a world where teachers are supported. We are lifelong learners who dream of better and easily accessible information for parents. We are for balanced and fun classrooms full of engaged learning. We are friends who support and love each other in and out of the classroom.

Together we have over 20 years experience in education, and we have taught over 1000 children. Throughout our careers we have observed many different patterns and behaviors with our students and their parents. However, one thing has stayed the constant. Balanced children have balanced parents.

Partnering as advocates for our children is an integral part of their growth. We are united by our main focus: to raise children who are resilient, well-rounded, empathetic, and ready to make meaningful contributions to our world.

Our goal in starting this blog is to create a space where we can write about meaningful topics and to share resources to help parents and teachers. In partnership with our readers, we sincerely hope to have a positive influence on the paradigm of teaching and parenting in the 21st century.